Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sneak Peek
Ok... so a very "good friend" of mine sent me a photo of the new rollar coaster being built at Universal Studios... Looks pretty bitchin to me... Thank God Studios is actually adding an outdoor coaster; it's much needed. Not sure when it is supposed to be completed, but I can't wait to ride it!
This is your brain. This is your brain on finals week. FRIED.
So, in these past four years of college I still am perplexed as to why exactly we have finals. While I understand that the point of college is to input knowledge into our wee brains, I do not understand the concept behind creating a test full of concepts we all know we won't remember. It's overkill. Granted, I have learned many many things in my classes, but when it comes to testing, it's like I memorize memorize memorize and it's in one ear and out the other as soon as the final is over. While I may meticulously study definitions for a test, if you ask me the same question in a year from now you will get a very dazed and confused look... or perhaps a straight-up lie if I'm trying to look smart.
With that being said, I've learned the most from actually being put into real-world situations where I had to learn by experience. Granted, this is not an easy feat for busy professors too concerned with getting tenure, but by george it sure does give you an A+ education. For instance, I have a huge project due on Thursday. It's what I've been calling my "senior expose`." What I was thrust into was a giant investigative-ish story that I have to write an article about with a complementing video broadcast to go with it. While I have worked my buttocks off gathering information and interviews for this project, I have had such a blast and such great experiences meeting new people and learning how to piece this stuff together. What better practice could I get as a journalist than to go out and actually do the dirty work? I really feel as though I can step out of college and handle a professional job. Unfortunately, that "professional job" seems quite unattainable as they don't appear to exist in this economy... But let's look at it this way... wouldn't you want your nurse in the hospital to have some real experience? Wouldn't you want your accountant to have some real knowledge about what he's doing? Wouldn't you want your lawyer to be skilled outside the classroom?
Getting back on topic... I just feel that finals are a cop-out for teachers too stressed out with large classes. A test rarely measures our abilities and it rarely teaches us much. I know there may be theories that prove me wrong, but honestly how do we learn from four pages of tricky multiple choice questions? It just seems that a truly passionate, dedicated teacher would assign work that really got us to learn... that really got us to get involved... that really got us interested in the subject. I am a firm believer that there are no boring subjects, just boring teachers. You can make anything fun... but a final is the furthest thing from fun I can think of.
Maybe one day when UCF stops making monstrous cuts to the budget and teachers have reasonably-sized classes (did you know we have the worst teacher/student ratio in the state?), they can stray away from scantrons and crappy (often horribly punctuated) tests and teach us how to REALLY learn this material through practicing it. Nevertheless, there will always be those teachers who bitch about their students who half-ass things when they themselves half-ass their own curriculum and cling to the traditional true/false, multiple choice bullshit that plagues us all every year during this treacherous week... While students are often criticized for their laziness, teachers can be just as guilty... TRUST ME.
On that note, good luck everyone! Get plenty of rest, don't overdo it, go with your gut and go into your tests thinking positive! ....oh and pray (seriously... some of these tests are fricken ridiculous)
Friday, April 24, 2009
BEWARE THE BREED!
Ahh, so today concluded my last day EVER as a student attending undergraduate classes at UCF. Mind you, I still have finals (booooo!) but as for now I'm quasi-done. Well in my four years here at UCF, I have been out on many-a-date, encountered many-a-fellow, and observed many-a-males and am now here to categorize each in their own little niches. As many of you are my fellow women at UCF, I think you will agree I've covered many of the bases here.
And now... bum bum bum...
THE CATEGORIES OF UCF MEN
*The touchy-feeler- The touchy feeler is easily one of the most irritating of the breeds of men at UCF. These fellows generally are the ones who want to give you a hug each and every time they arrive or leave (including trips to the bathroom and exits from class). Additionally, they are always either trying to massage your shoulders or rest their hand on your lower back. Not cool. Unless you are of boyfriend or best friend status, your touchy-feely-ness couldn't be more of a turn off. Can you say creeeeeeeeper?
*The talk-to-much-about-thy-selfer- This species of man at UCF may, in the end, not be the worst catch... that is, if you learn how to tame him with some masking tape over his mouth while playing the song "I wanna talk about me" by Toby Keith over and over and over again until it sinks in to his wee egocentric brain. This type of guy could literally talk your ear off for hours about everything from his love for Kelly Clarkson and Italian food to how many push-ups and squats he does a day to keep up the "physique he's been training for for years after his grandma died and inspired him to lose a few pounds. Oh and did I mention my grandma was a chef? Ya, great lady. Oh did I ever tell about how hard my classes are? Did you hear about the time I pissed on a police car while I was drunk? Ya I get a little crazy..."
BEWARE-- sometimes this beast of a man forgets to breathe in between sentences.
*The frathole
- Oh, the Frathole. In my opinion these guys are really a catch-22, especially for interested sorority girls... While these cocky D-bags strut around campus in their Ralph Lauren Polo shirts and Seer Sucker pants, they emit the confidence girls love, but the pretension that kills their appeal. These guys are full of drinking stories and, coincidentally, shit. While they may appear as very active on campus, many of whom sit in leadership positions, their dedication doesn't stretch much further than the ritual of their fraternities...and certainly not to you. CAUTION: DO NOT DATE UNTIL AFTER GRADUATION.
*The shy guy- The shy guy is adorable. Once you get him out of his shell, he's a gem... the problem is that getting him to actually come out of his shell is a task many of us simply don't have the time or patience for. While these may be genuine guys, their lack of enthusiasm and overall zest for life can be a major buzz-kill. Plus.. who wants to be with a guy afraid of his own shadow?
*The mystery man- While many of the aforementioned categories of men are irritating, this fellow tops the chart because he causes more frustration than a hot-headed Elmer Fudd. This guy is totally unreadable. Not only is he vague when he talks, but you never quite know what he's thinking or his intentions. Unfortunately, this is the sort of guy that draws a girl in. Why? Because she wants the challenge of decoding him! Sadly, mystery men are usually the way they are because of some deep-rooted personal or self-esteem issues. .. or at least that's the conclusion that I have come to. Oh, and watch out, self-esteem issues usually makes a man less trustworthy because he is more likely to hook up with another chick of a confidence boost.
*The hippie- Tight cut-off shorts, bikes with skinny wheels, flannel shirts and hair that hasn't been washed and/or brushed for several weeks are key indications that you've caught yourself a hippie. While their passion is noteworthy, their odd habits are a little unbearable, and if you ask me, juvenile. I feel like these guys are just crying for attention. Blah blah blah join NORML. Blah blah blah save the trees. Blah blah blah support communism. Blah blah blah serve only organic burger king food in the student union. Kill. Me. Now. Please. The only thing worse than actually dating one of these guys, is being related to one that you are forced to be around. I respect their ambition and their good intentions, but how many times do you have to march around on campus with signs and megaphones stating shit you want to do but have absolutely no control over... Cut the crap, go home and shower. Thanks.
*The closet kinkmaster- These guys are by far the most shocking... Why? Because they come across as totally normal guys. Perhaps the ones you can take home to mom, maybe see yourself becoming involved with, the ones who *seem* perfect at first glance. Then, all of a sudden when you get them behind closed doors they turn into these sort of nymphomaniac sex feens. We're not just talking about guys who like to have sex... that wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary.. these guys not only want to have sex, they want to have weird sex and TALK ABOUT IT. These are the kind of guys who get you in trouble because they send you kinky text messages about what they want to do with you and then someone sees it over your shoulder...The problem here is that you can't be kinky until well into a relationship, otherwise you're just a freakshow. Ease up there tiger.
*The nice guy- The nice guy is the guy every girl says she wants. He's the guy who remembers your birthday. The guy who brings you soup when you're sick. The guy who enjoys having chats with your mother. The guy who just wants to make you happy more than anything else. Well... here's the problem with this RARE breed. We don't actually want them... no we're more geared to infatuation with someone like the frathole or perhaps just the regular assholes. Now, when we do finally come to our senses and look for this type of guy he is 9 times out of 10 already taken. AND NO, that does NOT mean you can still go after him. Remember the womens' creed ladies.
*The sugardaddy- The sugar daddy is a sector of the male realm that has so much money he doesn't know what to do with it other than shower you with gifts. Um, this is way cool HOWEVER, no matter how many roses or diamonds the sugardaddy buys for you remember that material possessions only go so far. Eventually you may want something deep and to the sugardaddy, it just doesn't get much deeper than the inside of his wallet.
*The gym-monger- These are the guys you usually will see in one of two places: 1) At the gym, on the first floor (of course) lifting weights. or 2) At Devaney's, Knight Library, Knight Lights (TD's), Scoop or Knight Club. Why? Because apparently they only go to college to expand the meat which resides in their heads. Muscles can be sexy, but brains and ingenuity are far more attractive.
* The creepy DDR kid- - Not sure why I'm even mentioning this breed... it's not like you'll actually ever think to give them the time of day... mostly because their lives are dictated solely by DDR in Wakadoos, World of Warcraft and the occasional homework assignment. Don't worry, they'll probably move back home after graduation and live with mommy and daddy playing video games until they're 30 and realize that they are total creeps.
*The closeted Alchy- While these guys are TOTALLY cool on a normal basis, once they get alcohol in them they turn into epic D-bags. It's almost sad because eventually, their life revolves around when and where they can access alcohol.
The Thug- The thug can be a man of any race. These guys are the most intimidating of the bunch. They have no problem hooting and holla-ing at girls who walk by, which I think makes them look completely untrustworthy and sex-crazed. They generally wear clothing that is 14 sizes too large, they wear flat brimmed hats and they top it all off with either Jean shorts (gag) or shoes that match the exact color of their shirt (quite incredible really). They love rap music, but not just any rap music... gangster rap where every other word is an obscenity... and of course they broadcast this music as loud as possible with the windows rolled down on their vehicles that usually sound like they're about explode on top of their gigantic rims. ...I simply don't understand these guys, yet I am oddly fascinated with them
Last, but NOT least:
*The guilt-tripper These guys take the cake for being the most annoying form of male ever developed. When you don't want to do something or go somewhere, they nag and nag and nag until you feel bad and eventually cave. They are uber-sensitive, a tad likeable, but most importantly the most MANIPULATIVE of all. Don't fall prey to the tactics of the guilt-tripper... the more you fall for it, the more he'll keep doing it.
Well that pretty much sums that up. I know I've left out MANY categories of men here at UCF, but there just isn't enough time or internet space to really touch on that many subjects. But if you have some you'd like to add please feel free to comment and I'll add your input to the list.
And now... bum bum bum...
THE CATEGORIES OF UCF MEN
*The touchy-feeler- The touchy feeler is easily one of the most irritating of the breeds of men at UCF. These fellows generally are the ones who want to give you a hug each and every time they arrive or leave (including trips to the bathroom and exits from class). Additionally, they are always either trying to massage your shoulders or rest their hand on your lower back. Not cool. Unless you are of boyfriend or best friend status, your touchy-feely-ness couldn't be more of a turn off. Can you say creeeeeeeeper?
*The talk-to-much-about-thy-selfer- This species of man at UCF may, in the end, not be the worst catch... that is, if you learn how to tame him with some masking tape over his mouth while playing the song "I wanna talk about me" by Toby Keith over and over and over again until it sinks in to his wee egocentric brain. This type of guy could literally talk your ear off for hours about everything from his love for Kelly Clarkson and Italian food to how many push-ups and squats he does a day to keep up the "physique he's been training for for years after his grandma died and inspired him to lose a few pounds. Oh and did I mention my grandma was a chef? Ya, great lady. Oh did I ever tell about how hard my classes are? Did you hear about the time I pissed on a police car while I was drunk? Ya I get a little crazy..."
BEWARE-- sometimes this beast of a man forgets to breathe in between sentences.
*The frathole
- Oh, the Frathole. In my opinion these guys are really a catch-22, especially for interested sorority girls... While these cocky D-bags strut around campus in their Ralph Lauren Polo shirts and Seer Sucker pants, they emit the confidence girls love, but the pretension that kills their appeal. These guys are full of drinking stories and, coincidentally, shit. While they may appear as very active on campus, many of whom sit in leadership positions, their dedication doesn't stretch much further than the ritual of their fraternities...and certainly not to you. CAUTION: DO NOT DATE UNTIL AFTER GRADUATION.
*The shy guy- The shy guy is adorable. Once you get him out of his shell, he's a gem... the problem is that getting him to actually come out of his shell is a task many of us simply don't have the time or patience for. While these may be genuine guys, their lack of enthusiasm and overall zest for life can be a major buzz-kill. Plus.. who wants to be with a guy afraid of his own shadow?
*The mystery man- While many of the aforementioned categories of men are irritating, this fellow tops the chart because he causes more frustration than a hot-headed Elmer Fudd. This guy is totally unreadable. Not only is he vague when he talks, but you never quite know what he's thinking or his intentions. Unfortunately, this is the sort of guy that draws a girl in. Why? Because she wants the challenge of decoding him! Sadly, mystery men are usually the way they are because of some deep-rooted personal or self-esteem issues. .. or at least that's the conclusion that I have come to. Oh, and watch out, self-esteem issues usually makes a man less trustworthy because he is more likely to hook up with another chick of a confidence boost.
*The hippie- Tight cut-off shorts, bikes with skinny wheels, flannel shirts and hair that hasn't been washed and/or brushed for several weeks are key indications that you've caught yourself a hippie. While their passion is noteworthy, their odd habits are a little unbearable, and if you ask me, juvenile. I feel like these guys are just crying for attention. Blah blah blah join NORML. Blah blah blah save the trees. Blah blah blah support communism. Blah blah blah serve only organic burger king food in the student union. Kill. Me. Now. Please. The only thing worse than actually dating one of these guys, is being related to one that you are forced to be around. I respect their ambition and their good intentions, but how many times do you have to march around on campus with signs and megaphones stating shit you want to do but have absolutely no control over... Cut the crap, go home and shower. Thanks.
*The closet kinkmaster- These guys are by far the most shocking... Why? Because they come across as totally normal guys. Perhaps the ones you can take home to mom, maybe see yourself becoming involved with, the ones who *seem* perfect at first glance. Then, all of a sudden when you get them behind closed doors they turn into these sort of nymphomaniac sex feens. We're not just talking about guys who like to have sex... that wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary.. these guys not only want to have sex, they want to have weird sex and TALK ABOUT IT. These are the kind of guys who get you in trouble because they send you kinky text messages about what they want to do with you and then someone sees it over your shoulder...The problem here is that you can't be kinky until well into a relationship, otherwise you're just a freakshow. Ease up there tiger.
*The nice guy- The nice guy is the guy every girl says she wants. He's the guy who remembers your birthday. The guy who brings you soup when you're sick. The guy who enjoys having chats with your mother. The guy who just wants to make you happy more than anything else. Well... here's the problem with this RARE breed. We don't actually want them... no we're more geared to infatuation with someone like the frathole or perhaps just the regular assholes. Now, when we do finally come to our senses and look for this type of guy he is 9 times out of 10 already taken. AND NO, that does NOT mean you can still go after him. Remember the womens' creed ladies.
*The sugardaddy- The sugar daddy is a sector of the male realm that has so much money he doesn't know what to do with it other than shower you with gifts. Um, this is way cool HOWEVER, no matter how many roses or diamonds the sugardaddy buys for you remember that material possessions only go so far. Eventually you may want something deep and to the sugardaddy, it just doesn't get much deeper than the inside of his wallet.
*The gym-monger- These are the guys you usually will see in one of two places: 1) At the gym, on the first floor (of course) lifting weights. or 2) At Devaney's, Knight Library, Knight Lights (TD's), Scoop or Knight Club. Why? Because apparently they only go to college to expand the meat which resides in their heads. Muscles can be sexy, but brains and ingenuity are far more attractive.
* The creepy DDR kid- - Not sure why I'm even mentioning this breed... it's not like you'll actually ever think to give them the time of day... mostly because their lives are dictated solely by DDR in Wakadoos, World of Warcraft and the occasional homework assignment. Don't worry, they'll probably move back home after graduation and live with mommy and daddy playing video games until they're 30 and realize that they are total creeps.
*The closeted Alchy- While these guys are TOTALLY cool on a normal basis, once they get alcohol in them they turn into epic D-bags. It's almost sad because eventually, their life revolves around when and where they can access alcohol.
The Thug- The thug can be a man of any race. These guys are the most intimidating of the bunch. They have no problem hooting and holla-ing at girls who walk by, which I think makes them look completely untrustworthy and sex-crazed. They generally wear clothing that is 14 sizes too large, they wear flat brimmed hats and they top it all off with either Jean shorts (gag) or shoes that match the exact color of their shirt (quite incredible really). They love rap music, but not just any rap music... gangster rap where every other word is an obscenity... and of course they broadcast this music as loud as possible with the windows rolled down on their vehicles that usually sound like they're about explode on top of their gigantic rims. ...I simply don't understand these guys, yet I am oddly fascinated with them
Last, but NOT least:
*The guilt-tripper These guys take the cake for being the most annoying form of male ever developed. When you don't want to do something or go somewhere, they nag and nag and nag until you feel bad and eventually cave. They are uber-sensitive, a tad likeable, but most importantly the most MANIPULATIVE of all. Don't fall prey to the tactics of the guilt-tripper... the more you fall for it, the more he'll keep doing it.
Well that pretty much sums that up. I know I've left out MANY categories of men here at UCF, but there just isn't enough time or internet space to really touch on that many subjects. But if you have some you'd like to add please feel free to comment and I'll add your input to the list.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Bum Bum Ba nahhh Sanford... without the son
In some majors you may study chemicals. You may study human interaction. You may study books... but as a Journalism major we rarely do anything like that. No, the professors here at UCF like to plunge us in the areas of the unknown looking for news stories full of people who really don't want to be interviewed by us...which of course always makes for a party. duh.
Well for my public affairs reporting class I was assigned to cover Sanford, Florida. If you've never been to Sanford before... FEAR NOT- you're missing absolutely nothing but a city full of run-down houses and a less than par shopping mall. Well, in covering this city, I was pretty much forced to visit this lovely town on a fairly regular basis... go figure.
Well, it turned out not to be so bad... I seem to find everything funny in Sanford for some reason. For instance, the fact that every other business ends with the word "land," "World" or "City" (I.E. Hubcap City, Insurance Land, African Hair-braiding world.) was always good for a laugh. Being from Titusville, I don't really have a lot of room to talk, but let me just say Sanford gives us a run for our money to whom holds the highest hick status.
Well, today while doing my last little bit of multi-media reporting for this class, and practically dying after I was yelled at by TWO fairly large black men on the wrong side of the tracks, I came across an establishment that I really feel sums up the city.
If this just doesn't scream SANFORD... I don't know what does.
Well for my public affairs reporting class I was assigned to cover Sanford, Florida. If you've never been to Sanford before... FEAR NOT- you're missing absolutely nothing but a city full of run-down houses and a less than par shopping mall. Well, in covering this city, I was pretty much forced to visit this lovely town on a fairly regular basis... go figure.
Well, it turned out not to be so bad... I seem to find everything funny in Sanford for some reason. For instance, the fact that every other business ends with the word "land," "World" or "City" (I.E. Hubcap City, Insurance Land, African Hair-braiding world.) was always good for a laugh. Being from Titusville, I don't really have a lot of room to talk, but let me just say Sanford gives us a run for our money to whom holds the highest hick status.
Well, today while doing my last little bit of multi-media reporting for this class, and practically dying after I was yelled at by TWO fairly large black men on the wrong side of the tracks, I came across an establishment that I really feel sums up the city.
If this just doesn't scream SANFORD... I don't know what does.
Lookie what I found!!!
While purusing through some old Facebook friends' pictures, I found someone wearing one of the original Jessica Saggio INC. shirts!!! Check it out:
Thank you Mr. Sandy Vanderbleek for your longstanding support of Jessica Saggio INC.!!!! bahahahahahahaha.
Thank you Mr. Sandy Vanderbleek for your longstanding support of Jessica Saggio INC.!!!! bahahahahahahaha.
Polls
If you look to the left of this page, you'll see I've added a poll. The polls will periodically change, but please give me your input! Some of the polls will drive later posts, some won't. It takes two seconds and I want to hear what you think!!!
Ps: I apologize for spelling Lilly PuliTZer incorrectly... typo! oops!
Ps: I apologize for spelling Lilly PuliTZer incorrectly... typo! oops!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
My New Hero.
In this day and age, it just doesn't seem like infomercials are quite up to par the way they used to be in the days of Family Auto Mart and before the Appliance Direct guy hired that incredibly annoying and poorly dressed woman as a spokesperson. When I reflect back on my childhood, I picture me and my best friend staying up until 2 am with icecream and other miscellaneous snacks, waiting for the Family Auto Mart "show" to come on.
Why you may ask?
Because we nearly pissed our pants with laughter watching him dress up in grass skirts and coconut bras and doing kartwheels down his row of cars. "We're wheeeeelin annnnnnnnnnnnnnd Dealin" became completely acceptable and normal slang in my middle school days. I can even STILL recite you their phone number (242-0328 FAMMMMily Auto Mart). Sad, yet true... Incredible marketing if you asked me. When I was 13 I only dreamed of being old enough to drive and buy a new Dodge Neon purchased from the "Family Man" as he did the "Family Man Dance."
Well, as time has went by after I conquored the task of finding an "I love Refrigerators shirt" from Appliance Direct... I've found infomercials are now beyond disappointing... well... that was until I discovered Mr. Jones.
This year, I rediscovered my love for the infomercial. A love only a big, black man could bring to the hearts of those who find him disturbingly hilarious.
Watch and enjoy my friends. Watch and enjoy.
This is the first "business endeavor" Mr. Toby Jones embarked upon after his former employment as a "street pharmacutical sales rep" was threatened after he saw his manager get shot. Well after a new interest in real estate Jones' BIG ASS truck rental and storage was born. Now, that's what I call the American dream.
Oh but it get's better... apparently Mr. Jones is at it again... but he's now decided to take on the food industry... and er.. the massage market?
Oh Toby Jones... how I love your work. Right when I thought you couldn't get any better, you go and create Jones' GOOD ASS Barbeque and Foot Massage
Now, if I just convince myself to blow $11 bucks on one of his T-shirts... the time will come, I assure you.
Why you may ask?
Because we nearly pissed our pants with laughter watching him dress up in grass skirts and coconut bras and doing kartwheels down his row of cars. "We're wheeeeelin annnnnnnnnnnnnnd Dealin" became completely acceptable and normal slang in my middle school days. I can even STILL recite you their phone number (242-0328 FAMMMMily Auto Mart). Sad, yet true... Incredible marketing if you asked me. When I was 13 I only dreamed of being old enough to drive and buy a new Dodge Neon purchased from the "Family Man" as he did the "Family Man Dance."
Well, as time has went by after I conquored the task of finding an "I love Refrigerators shirt" from Appliance Direct... I've found infomercials are now beyond disappointing... well... that was until I discovered Mr. Jones.
This year, I rediscovered my love for the infomercial. A love only a big, black man could bring to the hearts of those who find him disturbingly hilarious.
Watch and enjoy my friends. Watch and enjoy.
This is the first "business endeavor" Mr. Toby Jones embarked upon after his former employment as a "street pharmacutical sales rep" was threatened after he saw his manager get shot. Well after a new interest in real estate Jones' BIG ASS truck rental and storage was born. Now, that's what I call the American dream.
Oh but it get's better... apparently Mr. Jones is at it again... but he's now decided to take on the food industry... and er.. the massage market?
Oh Toby Jones... how I love your work. Right when I thought you couldn't get any better, you go and create Jones' GOOD ASS Barbeque and Foot Massage
Now, if I just convince myself to blow $11 bucks on one of his T-shirts... the time will come, I assure you.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Losing Control
Living in this finite world, so often our strength will be tested. Unfortunately, as much as we all feel invincible, there will always come a time where reality sheds light on just how finite we really are.
Whether it's through sickness, tragedy, betrayal, or maybe just even disappointment, we all will be brought to terms with the fact that we cannot control everything all the time. Some things simply are beyond our grasp.
In the past year and a half or so my emotions have been like a wild roller coaster. One second everything is great and I'm taking trips to New York and writing for the paper and being an editor and pretty much taking the title of "champ" in the game of life... and then all of a sudden, I'm faced with heartache, sickness and a family who needs my real support for the first time in my life really. In turn, demoting me back to "chump" status.
It's a weird feeling; to watch everything tumble in front of you without having control over it. Watching cancer spread without the ability to take a few Tylonal and call it a day. Watching my mother cry and my uncle fight a battle no one ever could have predicted he would have to face. Is this just a part of growing up? If so, why the hell do we even celebrate birthdays?
After a long chat with a good friend, and some encouraging words from my father, I think I've run into a new prospective. Despite how cliche this may come off, positivity seems to be the key in overcoming the horrors that fight to take us down. It would be so easy for me to sit here and bawl about how bad things look... how shitty my semester is.... how emotionally stressed out I am... how terrible things appear to be for my family... I can't help but frown upon my wallowing. How dare I feel bad...
The more I think about it, the more I realize... what good does it do to feel bad about things? So instead, I've come to the conclusion I'm just going to laugh things off. I was once told that even if you force yourself to smile and laugh, just the motion would be healing. Even if you're about to cry... just laugh. Being upset doesn't accomplish anything. I can attest to that.
While the burdens of the world are revealing everyday what little control I have over what happens to those around me, I must remind myself that these burdens can only be overcome through the strength that is built from a good laugh and a faith-filled attitude.
I encourage everyone to read a joke today. Watch an episode of friends. Go to Sak Comedy Lab. Laugh at something. Laugh at someone. Laugh at yourself. Despite how silly it may seem, laughter is medicine unprescribable, but ever effective. Use it.
Whether it's through sickness, tragedy, betrayal, or maybe just even disappointment, we all will be brought to terms with the fact that we cannot control everything all the time. Some things simply are beyond our grasp.
In the past year and a half or so my emotions have been like a wild roller coaster. One second everything is great and I'm taking trips to New York and writing for the paper and being an editor and pretty much taking the title of "champ" in the game of life... and then all of a sudden, I'm faced with heartache, sickness and a family who needs my real support for the first time in my life really. In turn, demoting me back to "chump" status.
It's a weird feeling; to watch everything tumble in front of you without having control over it. Watching cancer spread without the ability to take a few Tylonal and call it a day. Watching my mother cry and my uncle fight a battle no one ever could have predicted he would have to face. Is this just a part of growing up? If so, why the hell do we even celebrate birthdays?
After a long chat with a good friend, and some encouraging words from my father, I think I've run into a new prospective. Despite how cliche this may come off, positivity seems to be the key in overcoming the horrors that fight to take us down. It would be so easy for me to sit here and bawl about how bad things look... how shitty my semester is.... how emotionally stressed out I am... how terrible things appear to be for my family... I can't help but frown upon my wallowing. How dare I feel bad...
The more I think about it, the more I realize... what good does it do to feel bad about things? So instead, I've come to the conclusion I'm just going to laugh things off. I was once told that even if you force yourself to smile and laugh, just the motion would be healing. Even if you're about to cry... just laugh. Being upset doesn't accomplish anything. I can attest to that.
While the burdens of the world are revealing everyday what little control I have over what happens to those around me, I must remind myself that these burdens can only be overcome through the strength that is built from a good laugh and a faith-filled attitude.
I encourage everyone to read a joke today. Watch an episode of friends. Go to Sak Comedy Lab. Laugh at something. Laugh at someone. Laugh at yourself. Despite how silly it may seem, laughter is medicine unprescribable, but ever effective. Use it.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
What is with all the mall cop movies?
Dear Hollywood,
Could you please, PLEASE, PLEAAAASSSSEEEE stop making movies about Mall Cops. Please. No really, please. While I, as a young woman, thoroughly enjoy my time spent at the mall, I see no need to make not just one but TWO movies in the same year about a breed of security guard that seems funny, but turns out not to be.
I went in with an open mind to see Paul Blart Mall Cop. I figured, what the hay? I like King of Queens... this guy couldn't be too bad in his own movie.
Wrong-o.
However, as terrible as Paul Blart Mall Cop was, it doesn't hold a candle to the utter tragedy I felt as Observe and Report shed light on me that a producer would put that much money into a movie so incredibly harebrained.
Why, dear God, WHY? WHYYYYY?
Why would someone actually choose to make a movie that has no steady a plot, about 45 minutes of pointless banter/drug use/flashing penis, and absolutely no realistic scenarios at all.
A little side note to Writer and Director Jody Hill---you can't just shoot a "pervert" and have the police applaud you. I mean, your script was already terrible... couldn't you have at least had a decent ending that made an ounce of sense?
Nevertheless, as much of a disappointment these two films were the question of the year is as follows:
Why the hell would I ever CHOOSE to watch both of these movies?
It's ok, I'm going to seek help at the UCF counseling center.
It's ok Seth Rogan, we all know you had to have bumped your head to have gone through with this movie... but I must say, I expected a little better judgment from Anna Farris.
Could you please, PLEASE, PLEAAAASSSSEEEE stop making movies about Mall Cops. Please. No really, please. While I, as a young woman, thoroughly enjoy my time spent at the mall, I see no need to make not just one but TWO movies in the same year about a breed of security guard that seems funny, but turns out not to be.
I went in with an open mind to see Paul Blart Mall Cop. I figured, what the hay? I like King of Queens... this guy couldn't be too bad in his own movie.
Wrong-o.
However, as terrible as Paul Blart Mall Cop was, it doesn't hold a candle to the utter tragedy I felt as Observe and Report shed light on me that a producer would put that much money into a movie so incredibly harebrained.
Why, dear God, WHY? WHYYYYY?
Why would someone actually choose to make a movie that has no steady a plot, about 45 minutes of pointless banter/drug use/flashing penis, and absolutely no realistic scenarios at all.
A little side note to Writer and Director Jody Hill---you can't just shoot a "pervert" and have the police applaud you. I mean, your script was already terrible... couldn't you have at least had a decent ending that made an ounce of sense?
Nevertheless, as much of a disappointment these two films were the question of the year is as follows:
Why the hell would I ever CHOOSE to watch both of these movies?
It's ok, I'm going to seek help at the UCF counseling center.
It's ok Seth Rogan, we all know you had to have bumped your head to have gone through with this movie... but I must say, I expected a little better judgment from Anna Farris.
A little history lesson
So why Jessica Saggio INC.? I'll tell you why... it actually goes pretty far back.
Jessica Saggio INC. began in 2004 when I, a highschool junior at the time, thought I would be funny and mock my school's slight obsession with brand name shirts. Wearing an Abercrombie, Billabong, Hurley, American Eagle or Tommy Hilfiger (ew) shirt used to be the "it thing" (again, ew)... so I figured... if Tommy Hilfiger can just slap his name on a T-shirt and call it a brand name, why can't I?
So thus began the T-shirt line better known as Jessica Saggio INC.
Well...the T-shirt business actually went over really well... I got like 50 orders... But I, being the lazy highschool junior that I was, was no way in hell going to make that many T-shirts... so I quit my own business. However, there still are a few shirts out there... I even saw someone wearing one in their facebook profile picture not too long ago. Go figure.
Anyways, after much deliberation, I decided to bring back Jessica Saggio INC., but in multi-media form. We'll see where it goes from here.
Jessica Saggio INC. began in 2004 when I, a highschool junior at the time, thought I would be funny and mock my school's slight obsession with brand name shirts. Wearing an Abercrombie, Billabong, Hurley, American Eagle or Tommy Hilfiger (ew) shirt used to be the "it thing" (again, ew)... so I figured... if Tommy Hilfiger can just slap his name on a T-shirt and call it a brand name, why can't I?
So thus began the T-shirt line better known as Jessica Saggio INC.
Well...the T-shirt business actually went over really well... I got like 50 orders... But I, being the lazy highschool junior that I was, was no way in hell going to make that many T-shirts... so I quit my own business. However, there still are a few shirts out there... I even saw someone wearing one in their facebook profile picture not too long ago. Go figure.
Anyways, after much deliberation, I decided to bring back Jessica Saggio INC., but in multi-media form. We'll see where it goes from here.
Changes Cha-Cha-Changes
Ahhhhhhhhhh. It feels good to be at my new home JessicaSaggioINC.com and boy does it feel GOOD not being anonymous. You may have read my writings at sexkittenslitterbox, but alas I've given up my life of writing behind a surname and now I'm out in the open for all to see... Let's just hope I don't piss anyone off...(which I probably will... but we'll get to that later)
Anyways, come in, make yourself comfortable... updates will be coming soon... deep shit, funny shit, rants, whatever fits the day.
But before I end this post, I'd like to give a SHOUT OUT to John J. Sexton who pretty much designs everything I do... you're a fucking baller Mr. Sexton. Hat's off, my friend.
Now on to the blogsphere... TALLY HO!
Anyways, come in, make yourself comfortable... updates will be coming soon... deep shit, funny shit, rants, whatever fits the day.
But before I end this post, I'd like to give a SHOUT OUT to John J. Sexton who pretty much designs everything I do... you're a fucking baller Mr. Sexton. Hat's off, my friend.
Now on to the blogsphere... TALLY HO!
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